The Lady of Matt's Lair

My ideal Girlfriend spends lots of time with me.

Our daily lives together involve her learning my daily rhythms and patterns of behavior.

She is a nurturing person, and will need those patterns memorized in order to properly nourish me as an Individual, and grow me stronger.

She can build a better Matthew.

His muscles aren't big enough.

He needs to work on his memory.

When was the last time you wrote a book? Are they selling?

When was the last time you drew a cartoon?

Drink this Protein Powder after you pump iron for 10 Episodes of Anime. I'm watching you. Don't slow down.

She wears a Cosplay Maid Outfit like in the Anime: "Mahoromatic: Automatic Maiden."

She wears a thin stainless steel brooch that was custom engraved with the following words converted into Galleyfrieyan with the Galleyfrieyan Translator. "The Lady of Matt's Lair."

Gallifreyan Translator

I have a problem with Authority, and value my own Autonomy. This is partially because my naively given trust has been rendered and violated by various people and organizations over the course of my life, and I am not simply tired of being abused by Authority, but I have made a Philosophical Choice to respect my own Authority over Myself as the Highest Authority in my Life. That being said, my Creative Madness is something that, when properly observed, can suck in other Human Beings like a Whirlpool. The Lady of Matt's Lair considers this Whirlpool as part of her Compensation for her Time with me. She enjoys getting lost in my Creative Madness, and sees value in getting lost with me. It is a Genuinely Valuable and Rare Experience that cannot be paid for with any amount of Money. She becomes addicted to this Whirlpool to the point where she works to generate the effect, while being very careful not to misrepresent herself as an Authority Figure ladying over me. She is the Lady of Matt's Lair, not Matt. Matt is the Fire that she tends, and while she is warmed by the Flame, she doesn't wish to be burned. This is very unhealthy behavior, but she puts it in the same category as Comfort Food. It is addictive, bad for you, but oh so delicious!

Interested in becoming The Lady of Matt's Lair? Please add your Comments below.